Hoy || Today
...me siento especialmente bien, llevo alrededor de una semana queriendo escribir un post, me refiero a uno en concreto, sobre una idea determinada, pero desde hace alrededor de una semana me da la impresión de que la idea se me escapa, se diluye entre todo el montón de cosas que se pelean en mi cabeza, las palabras se me esconden y nunca encuentro el momento de darles forma.
Decía que hoy me siento especialmente bien, y no sólo porque en mitad del Otoño he salido a tomarme un café con leche y he podido quedarme en manga corta, o porque mi compañero de oficina me ha regalado un "mug", (un tazón para el café con leche). La verdadera razón por la cual hoy me siento especialmente bien es porque después de casi un par de meses de trabajo, al fin he entregado mi propuesta de tesis. Después de darle a enviar, por un momento he sentido que todo estaba en su sitio, que todo encajaba, que los engranajes de esta locura giraban en perfecta sincronía.
Pero esa no es la idea que tenia en la cabeza desde hace alrededor de una semana, si no la del silencio. Y porque la del silencio?? Quizá todavía no sepáis que he vuelto a cambiarme de casa, y aun sabiendo que algunos de vosotros apostáis por otra mudanza antes de 6 meses, creo que es la definitiva, por lo menos en una larga temporada. Esta vez me he ido a vivir con una chica que conocí al poco de llegar aquí, un apartamento de dos habitaciones completamente vacío. A pesar de que el salón es pequeño, el hecho de que nuestras pertenencias se reduzcan a un par de sofás morados y una tele lo hacen parecer inmenso. El viernes pasado vino a cenar un amigo a casa, sentados en el suelo me dijo: puedes poner la tele?, este silencio pesa demasiado. Me pareció fascinante la idea de que el silencio pudiera pesar, y antes de poner la tele me quede un momento callada, escuchando, y me pareció correcta la apreciación, el silencio pesaba, pesaba casi en el sentido físico de la palabra.
Existen diferentes tipos de silencio, algunos incómodos, algunos necesarios, algunos provocados, algunos impuestos, algunos que se llevan mejor, algunos que necesitan de una tele a todo volumen para esconderlos, algunos que te vuelven loca, algunos que no te llevan a ningún sitio, algunos que te devuelven la paz, la serenidad, silencios que solo se consiguen por medio de gritos, silencios que solo se consiguen por medio de esfuerzo, silencios que solo se consiguen a base de trabajo, de lucha, de persistencia, silencios mágicos, silencios dolorosos, silencios tensos, silencios ocultos entre un montón de palabras, silencios frágiles que preludian grandes cambios, grandes momentos, silencios rotos, silencios que pesan...
%%%
..I
feel good, I have been thinking about writing a post since last week, I
mean a specific one, about a certain idea, but since last week I feel
like the idea runs away from me, it's dissolved between all the things
fighting in my head, words keep hiding and I can never find the moment
to write them.
I was saying that I fell good today, and not just because in Autumn I went for coffee and I was only with my T-shirt, or because my office mate gave me a mug. The real reason is because after a couple of months of work I could, finally, submit my proposal for thesis. after sent it I felt that everything was on the right position, that all the mechanisms of this crazy adventure were working properly.
But this was not the idea I wanted to talk about, but silence. And why silence? You maybe still don't know that I moved houses again, and even most of you think that I will move again on the next 6 months, I thinks it will be for a long time. I am sharing a two bedrooms completely empty with a girl I met when I arrived here. Although the living room is small, the fact that the only things we own are two purple coaches and a TV makes the living room quite big. Last Friday a friend came for dinner, and while sitting on the floor he said, can you turn on the TV, this silence is too heavy. I was fascinated with the idea that the silence could weigh and before switching the TV on I remain silent, listening, and he was right, the silence was heavy, was heavy almost on the physical sense of the word.
There are different types of silence, some of them are uncomfortable, some necessary, some induced, some imposed, some of them are easy, some of them need a TV to hide them, some of them drive you crazy, some bring you no where, some of them give you peace, serenity, silences that are only reached through shouts, silences only reached through effort, through work, through fight, through persistence, silences that are magical, silences that are painful, silences that are tense, silences hidden in between a bunch of words, fragile silences that prelude big changes, big moments, broken silences, heavy silences...
I was saying that I fell good today, and not just because in Autumn I went for coffee and I was only with my T-shirt, or because my office mate gave me a mug. The real reason is because after a couple of months of work I could, finally, submit my proposal for thesis. after sent it I felt that everything was on the right position, that all the mechanisms of this crazy adventure were working properly.
But this was not the idea I wanted to talk about, but silence. And why silence? You maybe still don't know that I moved houses again, and even most of you think that I will move again on the next 6 months, I thinks it will be for a long time. I am sharing a two bedrooms completely empty with a girl I met when I arrived here. Although the living room is small, the fact that the only things we own are two purple coaches and a TV makes the living room quite big. Last Friday a friend came for dinner, and while sitting on the floor he said, can you turn on the TV, this silence is too heavy. I was fascinated with the idea that the silence could weigh and before switching the TV on I remain silent, listening, and he was right, the silence was heavy, was heavy almost on the physical sense of the word.
There are different types of silence, some of them are uncomfortable, some necessary, some induced, some imposed, some of them are easy, some of them need a TV to hide them, some of them drive you crazy, some bring you no where, some of them give you peace, serenity, silences that are only reached through shouts, silences only reached through effort, through work, through fight, through persistence, silences that are magical, silences that are painful, silences that are tense, silences hidden in between a bunch of words, fragile silences that prelude big changes, big moments, broken silences, heavy silences...
¡¡Enhorabuena!! Todo llega...
ReplyDeleteEspero que en esta casa te sientas mejor y sea como tu dices, la definitiva. Besos!
Pásatelo bien en esta nueva casa y con tu nueva compañera!!!
ReplyDeleteBesos ,maria!
Pásatelo bien comen tu nueva casa y tu nueva compañera
ReplyDeleteBesos maria!!